I was not born to a wealthy family. When I was little, my parents could only provide us with what we need. I remember having a very rare privilege to leverage my negotiating skills to ask for things that I want when I see that other kids have them. I understood at a very young age that we need to strive hard in order for us to earn money and buy things we want.
Because of our financial situation, my parents rarely use material things as rewards to encourage good behavior. We were taught that good behavior pleases our God and will help us have a good relationship with other people. Our learning experiences for life were fostered by positive reinforcements by way of praises and developing the intrinsic desire to help others with the best that we can.
For me, these reinforcements I have experienced at home are positive and pleasant. However, as I grew up, I have also tried to experience some negative effects of behaviorist approaches. As a consistent top placer in elementary, I was used to being praised and showered with love by parents, relatives, teachers, and classmates whenever I get the highest rank. I was conditioned to strive for the first place, get high grades, and do my best in areas where I excelled. I got used to praises and admiration. However, when tasks seem to be unrewarding or too difficult where I knew I wouldn’t be the “best”, my motivation became low. I started to give up on difficult tasks. I have tried ending up failing to finish once the going gets rough. I lost the appreciation of the things I needed to do for their own sake. I associated my previous accomplishments to success, thinking that I am naturally intelligent and I don’t need to strive anymore.
It took time for me to remove this effect on me. Once I entered college, I was reminded how incompetent I was compared to all those brilliant minds. Everyone was smart and driven by their passion and ideologies. I felt left out. I realized that I am really not that good as what I think.
I realized that I should have valued hardwork and diligence more than praise. God-given talents should be improved and honed. I wish that my efforts and attitude were more valued rather than me fixating my intentions on outcomes which are not constant. Based on personal experience, a higher sense of purpose as a positive reinforcement is more compelling than superficial or material motivations. For me, desire, passion, grit, and purpose are more effective drivers for positive learning behaviors.




